It's Not Always Gonna Be Easy

Recently, when I listen to people talk on the news about the little girl Christina who was killed in the Arizona shooting I can't help but make compairisons to Lady Jane. When they were describing her, "A very tenacious little girl but still very sensitive." I couldn't help but think that would be how I would describe my daughter. Then, morbid as it may sound, I couldn't help but think about what our lives would be like without our little tasmanian devil and I didn't like what I saw.

While Lady Jane challenges me everyday, she has made me take a good look at the person I am and be aware of how I am living my life. Having her here on the planet has made me a better person. I think I have also mentioned before how boring life would be without a little crazy in it.

I hope she realizes that while we frequently may but heads I am so very thankful she is in my life, and thank God for allowing me the chance to raise her.

An Actual Coversation From My Car

Lady Jane asks, "Mom, what is a sexual organ?"
To which Buster brown replies, "a saxophone."
There is silence, which says to me that this answer has satisfied her and so I leave it at that.

It's a twister!

Let me preface this story by saying that for about one week in a row we were having bad storms triggering the tornado warning siren to go off. While tornadoes are something that I don't take lightly, when you hear a certain siren everyday you start to loose the urgency you once felt.

One night I had apparently gotten the flu (who gets the flu in the summer!?) anywho the next day I was totally wiped out and just trying to get by let alone take care of my kids.

On this day, I was using every once of my energy to walk into the house from the car, and the siren goes off for the umpteenth time this month. Lady Jane turns to me and asks,"since we don't have a basement should I go in the closet?"

I found myself unable to utter anything but, "yes, go in the closet." Then I proceeded to drag my body to my bed where I heard the whole scene play out.

Lady Jane insisted that baby girl get in the closet with her. Baby girl soon found that getting into the closet wearing her cinderella plastic shoes was more of a challenge than she had anticipated. Soon I heard a giant crash followed by a tiny voice, "Holy Smokes!" Normally, such a crash would have sent me running toward the noise but I lacked the energy and so the scene continued.

Now that Lady Jane knew her sister was somewhat safe on the closet floor she decided to set her sights on the dog. Using grapes to lure him she eventually did manage to wrangle him into the closet and shut the door with the three of them inside. Soon after my husband came around the corner just in time to see the scene.

Apparently being shut in the closet with two little girls sent the dog into a sort of a panic. Hubby saw the closet door fly open and the dog with his forehead on Lady Jane's stomach catapulting her out of the closet.

There never was a tornado, but my mind has been put at ease knowing we have had that little drill.

Ahh, summer

As school wound to a close I found I was looking forward to the freedom of sleeping in, if you believe that sleeping until 7:30 is sleeping in. I was also looking forward to living in the moment and doing as we pleased. If the weather was nice we would go to the pool. If we had time in the day we would wander over to the library. If it wasn't too hot we could play at the park. This type of attitude does not fly with Lady Jane at all.

I soon discovered that I would be awoken every morning at 7:00 just as I was during the school year with an eight year old face in mine shouting, "What are we doing today Mom?" To which I would reply, "I don't know! I just don't know!" another fine parenting moment.

I soon came to realize, and it took me eight years to figure this out, that Lady Jane craves structure. No, she NEEDS structure. When school is out she longs for the strict schedule, social interaction and mental challenges she faces when she goes to school everyday.

I noticed I would not be able to have the laissez faire summer I was dreaming of. I need to make her a schedule. Without it she feels as if she is in a free fall with nothing to stop her. So if you will excuse me I am off to schedule in some quality time at the pool.

Me and My Shadow

My daughter and I are very similar. Perhaps too similar. I read somewhere once, in one of my parenting books, that any traits you have will be shown in your kids only magnified. Unfortunately, I have some nasty traits. Yelling is one, the occasional freak out is another. Sure as the sun comes up, I have seen these traits thrown back in my face like a vengant boomerang.

Needless to say, this can create some trying moments with my daughter and I. When she went to bed the other night, I was exhausted. Perhaps she didn't get enough sleep the night before (I let them stay up to watch Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. Crazy Friday night, I know) or, perhaps it was the two doughnuts she had had that day but she was a bear. I cried. I cried because I found that I did not even enjoy her company that day. I did not even want her in the same room as me because I knew there would be a request or emotional breakdown that would drain me of my last ounce of energy.

I just kept thinking that tomorrow would be a new day. So I put her to bed on time that night and finished the doughnuts myself (it was a sacrifice I had to make). The next day began only marginally better. I was really working to get the house looking like if a social worker walked in she wouldn't have to think twice about weather the children could stay. Just as I was making some headway, I headed upstairs to tackle that situation.

One glance at the floor revealed that my two-year-old had gotten into my scrap paper and scattered hundreds of little pieces of papaer all over the floor. This was my breaking point. I just sat down in my chair and began to cry. I just needed a moment to let it all out before I tackled this latest disaster. I was a little irked when my daughter walked in before I could compose myself. I mean crying over a mess, how old am I, really? I didn't want her to see that. But she did. She leaned over and gave me a big, genuine hug. It felt nice. It was really the first time in a while we weren't at odds. I explained to her my problem and she quickly began to resolve it. "I'll clean this room, George will clean the kitchen and you'll clean the family room. We'll have this place clean in no time!" It made my heart melt.

So we each went to our posts and she cleaned the upstairs room and she really did a good job. George, on the other hand, decided while cleaning the kitchen that he wanted a snack of oatmeal so that was really counterproductive. But her ability to see I was having a tough time and help me out touched me deeply.

My daughter has challenged me in ways I have never been challenged in my whole life. I will be a better person because of it. Tomorrow was a new day, and it was great. I love you Riley.