Moms! Has this ever happened to you?

It is the end of the day, you just wrestled three kids into bed and you collapse on the couch in a heap. You feel drained of all energy and find you can't even hold your head up properly. You decided to let your heavy cheek fall into your hand in an effort to keep your noggin looking up. That is when you soon discover that your hands have the strange odor of soap and poop.

While a normal person would remove their hand in disgust you find you are too tired. Instead you start to ponder how a smell like that could even come to be? Wouldn't the soap wash away the poop? Is there poop somewhere else besides my hand you could be smelling?

I'm just saying, these are questions a Mom asks herself.

Fall, Fun but Dangerous

We decided a great way to spend a weekend in October would be to go to the dairy farm festival. They had a hay mound to climb, a corn maze, a tiny train for the kids to ride, a hay ride, not to mention being able to see the baby and grown up cows. It was a lot of fun.

One of the attractions that particularly entertained my children was the "Corn Crib." The corn crib was a barn that had two giant boxes like sand boxes only instead of sand they were filled with corn. You could dig and slide and have a great time in this corn. Lady Jane even informed me that one little girl jumped into the corn with a skirt on and when she stood up the skirt was no longer. Now that is fun.

When the corn crib had lost it's appeal we moved on. We spent hours doing different activities they had on the farm. Before we left we decided we would let the kids play on the hay mound one more time. Hubby and I sat blissfully on the side as our children played. Suddenly, we were snapped out of our blissful state by the cry of baby girl running over, "My tush hurts!"

"OK, did you fall down on it?"
"No"
"Did you poop in your pants?"
"No"
So the mystery of the hurting tushy was not solved there. We did, however, decide that this would be a good stopping point and to top the afternoon off with a trip to Dairy Queen. On the car ride to Dairy Queen, Baby Girl continues her screams, "MY. TUSH. HURTS!" I felt baffled, I didn't know what to do for her.

When we arrived at Dairy Queen we soon discovered that several sports teams had also settled on an afternoon at the Queen and the place was packed. After we got in line I quickly informed my husband I was going to take Baby Girl to the bathroom. This is when she yelled, "I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, I JUST NEED TO GET THIS CORN OUT OF MY TUSH!"

The record player scratched, both the football and softball teams stop and look. I gave them the look of, 'What? You've never had corn in your tush?' then push past them into the bathroom. I pull down Baby Girl's pants and like machine gun fire kernels of corn hit the floor of the bathroom.

Mystery solved.

From the Mouths of Babes

Me: "Baby girl, go put on some underwear."

Baby Girl: "Why? Are we going somewhere?"

Me: "No, it's just that wearing underwear is a good thing to do."

An Actual Conversation from My House

I received a Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail

"Why are all these Mommy's only wearing underwear?" Buster Brown asks so innocently.

"Oh my son, I am pretty certain that those are NOT Mommy's!"

Be Still My Heart

Baby Girl is getting her first taste of being away from Mom. If you consider twice a month going to class in the same school where your Mom is teaching P.E. away. It turns out this is starting to get hard for her. I have never had this problem with either of my other kids, no separation anxiety, nothing. So, this is all new to me.

The other day I was coming in from recess duty as Baby Girl was going out with her class. One look at me and she fell apart. It was not an obnoxious cry, it was a genuine cry of her wanting to be with me. I have seen other children do this with their parents and I would silently judge, "come on, just pry them off your leg and get on with it!" I would yell in my head. In the moment it happened to me I realized that it is not that easy, at least for me it wasn't. I put on a brave front and gave her a quick squeeze and kiss then gave her to her teacher. I really did have to fight back tears as I did this. I knew this was what was best for her, but it still hurt. There is something about knowing that you are the only comfort this little being you love so much wants, and for their own good you can't give it to them.

So I did what any Mom would do, I pretended it didn't bother me than quickly ran to the nearest window to spy on her and make sure she was O.K. When I got to the window I saw Baby girl and Buster Brown in conversation on the playground. It brought me so much happiness to know that even thought Baby Girl is not his favorite person, when push came to shove he loved her and didn't want to see her upset.

That is when it happened, he leaned over and gave her a hug then invited her to play with his friends on the playground. I don't know many other parenting moments that have brought me so much joy. That is a memory that I hope I will always have with me to bring out when I am having a ruff day.

I'm Just Not Feelin' it

Let me preface this post by saying I am very grateful for my children and think life would be painfully boring if they were not around.

However, there are some days when I am just not feeling it. What I would give just to have one day where I could pull the covers over my head and stay in bed. I would love to have one day where I would pick up the house and everything would stay where I had put it. One day where I just wouldn't make lunch because I wasn't hungry and didn't feel like making lunch.

I imagine having a day like this, one day off. Then, the next day, when I saw my children again I would be refreshed and recovered and healed. I would be a better mother to them because I had one day off. Today I am longing for one of those days.

An Actual Coversation From My Car

Lady Jane asks, "Mom, what is a sexual organ?"
To which Buster brown replies, "a saxophone."
There is silence, which says to me that this answer has satisfied her and so I leave it at that.