Saturday, October 9, 2010

Be Still My Heart

Baby Girl is getting her first taste of being away from Mom. If you consider twice a month going to class in the same school where your Mom is teaching P.E. away. It turns out this is starting to get hard for her. I have never had this problem with either of my other kids, no separation anxiety, nothing. So, this is all new to me.

The other day I was coming in from recess duty as Baby Girl was going out with her class. One look at me and she fell apart. It was not an obnoxious cry, it was a genuine cry of her wanting to be with me. I have seen other children do this with their parents and I would silently judge, "come on, just pry them off your leg and get on with it!" I would yell in my head. In the moment it happened to me I realized that it is not that easy, at least for me it wasn't. I put on a brave front and gave her a quick squeeze and kiss then gave her to her teacher. I really did have to fight back tears as I did this. I knew this was what was best for her, but it still hurt. There is something about knowing that you are the only comfort this little being you love so much wants, and for their own good you can't give it to them.

So I did what any Mom would do, I pretended it didn't bother me than quickly ran to the nearest window to spy on her and make sure she was O.K. When I got to the window I saw Baby girl and Buster Brown in conversation on the playground. It brought me so much happiness to know that even thought Baby Girl is not his favorite person, when push came to shove he loved her and didn't want to see her upset.

That is when it happened, he leaned over and gave her a hug then invited her to play with his friends on the playground. I don't know many other parenting moments that have brought me so much joy. That is a memory that I hope I will always have with me to bring out when I am having a ruff day.

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