On Easter, my daughter hit the mother load. She won the money egg at the Easter egg hunt with $20 in it. In an effort to have her not turn around and spend the money at Justice the next day, I foolishly suggested that she start a bank account.
Ever since that day she has been hounding me mercilessly to take her to the bank to start her account. This is why I banking is not my favorite thing, we always have to go as a party of four. There is a bank teller that our family LOVES. She is a grandmother and she treats my children as if they were her own grandchildren. Meaning, she gives them each three suckers, cookies, and any other candy contriband she may have behind her desk. This means that the visit will begin well, but if we need to be there for more than five minutes the kids will begin running and will not stop just because they hit a wall, they will simply change direction.
So one afternoon, I was feeling like I needed to be punished, so I dug up their social security numbers and took the whole gang to the bank. They ran up to their favorite tellers window and she loaded them up with goodies. Then I found out I had to wait to see the woman that could help me open the account. This gave them plenty of time to not only finish their suckers, but for the teller to notice and give them more. I could feel the tension building inside my body.
Finally! It was our turn. The kids instantly take a seat and begin to crawl and scoot all over the poor unsuspecting woman's desk. I plead my case to her as I take her stapler from my son and replace it on her desk. I pray for her to be speedy like I have never prayed before.
"Has this bank ever been robbed?" George blurts out.
"Unfortunately, yes." The woman replies sheepishly.
"How many times?" George is a persistant little thing.
"Two." The woman answers in almost a whisper. In my mind I am yelling HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO OPEN UP A BANK ACCOUNT!? And when I thought things couldn't get any worse, someone from my party farted. I though I am just going to pretend that didn't happen and hope she does to.
When suddenly in a high pitched voice that only has one volume comes, "Sammy toot! Mom, mom! Sammy toot." Yes, yes I heard you Sammy. I am busy right now looking for a hole to crawl into.
In the end, we got the accounts opened and all it cost me was my pride.
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